From “Walk with Me: A Journey through the Landscape of Trauma” by Ellen Corcella
At some point in this tangled mix of experiences, I began to mull over the idea of adoption. I knew couples who had adopted children from China. I scoured media stories about international adoptions from Eastern Europe, Russia, Korea, and China. I attended forums on international adoptions. Each time, I calculated the costs of travel and childcare. Each time, my calculations failed to find the money or time needed to pull off this far-fetched notion. Each time, I tucked the idea into the back of my head for months.
What I could not escape was the ineffable yearning to have my own family, to love a child. Over time, these micro-moments became a genuine desire to adopt, but I could not pull the trigger. Then, in late spring of 1998, I visited my former debate partner, Barb, and her husband, Tom in Kentucky. Little did I know I was about to face my threshold: would I remain alone or open the door to adoption?