From “The Soulwork of Justice: Four Movements for Contemplative Action” by Wesley Granberg-Michaelson.
In observing my experience and in conversation with others, I’ve noticed four qualities of character that can do you in, if left unattended. Namely, self-sufficiency, certainty, grandiosity, and control. If these roam and careen freely through your life, they eventually wreak havoc in your heart, wound others (including those you love), and dismantle the good you’re set out to do. I’ve experienced that havoc, and I’ve seen it happen, too many times, amid causes and in the lives of colleagues whom I hold dear, whose causes and mission are just.
These four qualities are not intrinsically evil. Few things are. They are essential starter tools for developing a self strong enough to make your way in the world against all would-be defeats. They also have an attractiveness that is hard to resist – and if deceptively alluring – because they feed your “ego inflation.” Self-sufficiency corrects dependence. Certainty overcomes doubt. Grandiosity corrects low self-esteem. And control combats chaos. But when these traits are put on steroids, they become unconscious compulsions.
If you allow them, they will alienate you from your truest identity. Instead, they become layers of dross, a facade of plaster and clay, the building blocks of the protected self. The more we rely on them, the more encrusted they become over our inner self, hiding ourselves from ourselves.
Here’s why it’s so important for you and me to grasp this. The way we are wired, enabling us to be committed activists, persuasive advocates, and effective faith leaders, means that we rely on traits like self-sufficiency, certainty, grandiosity, and control. And we will probably have a dollop of narcissism thrown into the recipe of our modus operandi. But if we ignore their seductive power, these behaviours come to control us. They get rooted deep within and become nearly impregnable.