From “Love Your Neighbor: How Psychology Can Enliven Faith and Transform Community” by Katherine M. Douglas and Brittany M. Tausen
Do you think about addiction as a character flaw? A weakness someone has that they just need to “get over”? Or, do you recognize the many situational factors, like life circumstances, family models, or genetic predisposition, that contribute to addiction? Similarly, with mental illness, some people tend to emphasize situational explanations, pointing to factors beyond one’s control (e.g., significant trauma), whereas others point to dispositional factors (e.g., a lack of mental toughness). Research suggests that most mental illness (including addiction, which is classified as a psychological disorder by the American Psychological Association) arises from a constellation of factors. Many are well beyond a person’s control (e.g., trauma, genetics), but there are also things that lie more within one’s control (e.g., developing healthier thinking patterns, being in community) that can exacerbate or attenuate symptoms.
The more we can recognize the complexity of these experiences – that they are not caused by any one thing, but rather they are the result of a complex set of biological (e.g., genetics), psychological (e.g., stress), and sociocultural (e.g., attitudes about or access to mental healthcare) factors, the more accurate our understanding of others (and ourselves) will be. This richer understanding also creates space for grace. Grace to meet others where they are without judgment or hubris that we could never be in the same place, or experiencing the same thing if our own circumstances were different.
A new perspective with less emphasis on what people “deserve” also helps us to meet others with the radical generosity of Jesus. Being generous beyond what people deserve is the whole point of the parable of the workers in the vineyard in Matthew 20:1-16 where everyone receives the same amount of pay for working a different number of hours. This passage is unnerving for those of us who have spent our lives working hard, just wanting to be paid fairly. And yet, this is the heart of Jesus, to give generously. Both psychology and Jesus tell us to take the question of deserving out of the equation entirely. Instead, we should try to see people as Jesus sees them, and help them regardless of what factors we think led them to where they are. This will also require us to relinquish our illusions of control and trust in the goodness of God – the theological word for this is providence. Not necessarily because God’s goodness protects us from hardship or injustice, but because God’s goodness transcends our understanding of our current circumstances.
Psych Summary: At any given moment, the situation is a more powerful determinant of someone’s behavior than their personality. Being aware that we tend to underestimate how much circumstances influence other people’s actions can help us to extend more grace and understanding to our neighbors, even when they behave in ways that we find upsetting, hurtful or even, seemingly, unacceptable. We may never know the truth or understand all the circumstances that led up to a particular comment or action, but we can try to faithfully shift the balance away from blaming who they are as a person toward the complex circumstances they are navigating.